The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant is a few short weeks away, and it looks like the hosts are still in search for eligible micropeen—they just put out a blast calling for more "exemplary small penises," so now's as good a time as any to get back at that dude who dumped you via Snapchat.
This year's competition will take place on June 13th at Kings County Saloon in Bushwick, and organizers are promising a rollicking event filled with all the drinks and tiny peen a person can handle. Contestants are expected to show off their goods—or lack thereof—through evening wear, swimsuit and talent portions, and let their personalities—or lack thereof—shine through during a Q+A.
Anyone looking for an opportunity to humiliate a friend can do so by nominating them via ShipADick.com, which is a website that does exactly what it says it does. And since there appears to be a shortage of small penises in Brooklyn somehow, they'll be accepting video submissions from around the world this year—winners win $500, a crown and sash, and the opportunity to air their literal shortcomings on the Internet.
Update 2:20 p.m.: Now with video!
