Less than a year after I moved to NYC the worst snowstorm in half a century buried the city under two feet of powder. The Blizzard of '96 brought the city to a standstill, and if you were lucky enough to have shelter, it was beautiful. Most streets were completely impassable to motorists, and some New Yorkers skied to work in Manhattan. Now I'd seen everything!
It was an instructive introduction to winter in New York City, and it certainly set a high bar for future bitching about winter. Over the years I've struggled with the often-brutal intensity of NYC winters, and though I still sometimes lose it a little, I've learned to adapt and sometimes even enjoy this shit. So here are some suggestions for those of you who are finding life on The Wall a challenge.
Layers: I'm from upstate, so I'm no stranger to winter's stinging lash, but the crucial difference is that in the suburbs your exposure to the elements is limited to sprinting to your Corolla and waiting for the heat to kick in. Here in New York, you're forced (unless you're wealthy) to be outdoors much longer, and you've got to be prepared for long, harrowing walks through Manhattan wind tunnels and arctic river blasts. In addition to gloves and hats and scarves, make sure you layer up. Consider a thin thermal undershirt as the foundation and build up from there. Don't hold back; if you can put your arms down by your sides, you're not wearing enough clothes to survive long in the cold snap we've had this week.
Boots: I can't emphasize this enough. You need to invest in some good waterproof boots. They should extend well above the ankle so you can step confidently through the bottomless slush lagoons that form at every street corner after a big snowfall. The higher the better, I say. This is not the season to care about how dorky you look, this is the season to cherish dry socks.
Hit the Baths: The best way to stoke your inner furnace (that sounds weird) is to cough up $35 or so and hit one of the NYC baths. There are a lot to choose from, and they vary. The Russian & Turkish baths in the East Village are like stepping back in time, and earlier this winter I brought a bottle of vodka to the Brooklyn Banya in Kensington and had a blast with a big group. They have a restaurant and bar area right by the hot tubs and cold plunge, and you can BYOB. Check it out:
Of course, you also have two locations of Spa Castle to choose from (just look before you leap), and here's our guide to the best spas in NYC should you really decide to treat yourself. Which you should.
Embrace the Cold Hard Reality: For a while I tried to pretend it wasn't happening, and spent my winters hiding in tiki bars and watching surfing documentaries, but trying to escape winter by invoking a tropical island mood only makes it worse. It's like that scene in Apocalypse Now where choppering in the beer and the steak only makes the DMZ feel further from home. In fact, I would even advise against vacationing some place warm once we're fully in winter's grasp—the transition back to the urban tundra can be extremely difficult to endure. Our psyches aren't evolved enough to handle napping up under a palm tree and falling into a snow bank in the same afternoon.
No, winter has us now. This is the time to laugh in its face. Go for walks in the park and take pictures that get lots of likes. Ice skate, play hockey, sip hot chocolate, pound hot toddies, frequent fireplace bars, Netflix, go sledding, start snowball fights (but not with teenagers): these activities should be made a priority. Write as many novels and draw as many dicks on car windshields as your heart desires. Take the NYC Snow Bus upstate and learn to ski. Listen to Ben's great Winter Playlist.
And above all, remember that this season of death and darkness is, in large part, what gives New Yorkers their hardcore edge. It's a cliche because it's true: this adversity makes us tougher and forces us to strive. It also makes our spring and summer all the more exquisite. As John Steinbeck put it, "What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?" It's Bridget Fonda wasting her days smoking weed on the couch in Jackie Brown, and we all know what happened to her.
