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John Oliver dubbed it “the single worst place on planet Earth.” Gov. Kathy Hochul called it a “hellhole.” Even Pat Foye, the former executive director of the Port Authority, conceded that the agency’s Midtown bus terminal was “functionally obsolete.”

Maybe they were onto something. Or maybe they’re haters?

My colleague David Brand, who covers housing in New York City and knows a few things about crappy buildings, might be the Port Authority Bus Terminal’s number one fan — and he’s been asking me for over a year now to go with him so he could show it off.

And what better time to do it than for our newsletter that helps New Yorkers with where to go and what to know each week? David’s hot take achieves both.

To accompany our tour — which you can watch here — I made him put some of this in writing. Below is an edited version of our conversation. And note: The Port Authority is a government agency which our newsroom covers. David’s love of the Midtown bus terminal is just his personal passion/opinion. It is not an ad and does not represent the newsroom’s editorial position.

Because you’re literate, you had some pre-awareness of the bus terminal’s slander, so let’s jump ahead: What was your reaction the first time you commuted through the place?

I moved to New Jersey, right near the Lincoln Tunnel, a few years ago, and initially, I worried about the commute.

But the first time I took the land ferry into the Port, I thought, “Wow, this place is a lot cleaner than I expected.” I also noticed some cool art on the walls and inside the pop-up galleries.

When you first pitched “the bus terminal is good, actually,” you told me about all the errands you run in there. Give our readers the highlights, what are your spots?

It’s true. I run about half my errands at the kiosks and shops inside..

I get cash at the Bank of America ATMs. I buy phone chargers and other small electronics at a kiosk near the NJ Transit gates, and I got my Swatch fixed at a jewelry stand nearby. I even bought a book — “1929” for the history buffs out there — for my brother-in-law for Christmas at one of the stores.

I also buy wine at the duty free — excuse me, liquor store — on the second floor. (To be clear, you do have to pay taxes here). But the shop does have free wine tastings every Friday night!

Any memorable finds?

They had a decent Beaujolais a few months ago.

Nothing like a decent wine. People complain about the lack of signage inside the terminal. Is that ever a headache for you?

It’s pretty labyrinthine, and they could make it easier to navigate, but the Port Authority Bus Terminal app is helpful. You can search your bus line and find your gate, even after the gates change at 10 p.m. The staff inside are also happy to answer questions.

The second-floor women’s bathroom got some good press recently, what can you say for the men’s?

The men’s bathrooms are clean! Workers are in there constantly mopping the floors and keeping the sinks pristine. I always tap the green smiley button on my way out.

Penn Station is getting a facelift from the feds — it sounds like they’re going to give it a seal with Trump’s name, plus some gold accents. Any inspiration they should take from the bus terminal, in your opinion?

Give us some practical businesses and some affordable coffee spots, just like at the Port Authority.