Erin, a librarian living in Brooklyn, has an epic account of a run-in with a drunk fat guy wearing chef's pants on the G train who was trying to wow her and her friend. Apparently the man was so drunk that he thought she and her friend from Boston were speaking with accents. She continued:
She told him she was visiting from Boston and that is when he said, “Oh yeah, I’ve played at Fenway a few times.” And I scoffed and rolled my eyes because BUDDY you are wearing chef pants on the G train and you’re fat and don’t even try to hint to me that you’re a former major league baseball player.
I asked him if he was a Yankee fan or something since he had a negative reaction to Tara being in town from Boston and he said, “Why, do you recognize me?” And I was all “Come on! What’s your name then?” So he told us his name was Chuck but he would not give us his last name. He also overheard us talking about our upcoming trip to Minnesota and then he told us he used to live there. At this point we were just kind of egging him on so I asked him if he has ever played professional baseball and he said he couldn’t answer that but that he was recently divorced from his wife and “Are you sisters? Want to come uptown with me? I’ll just have to change first.”
When we got off the train Tara decided to google “baseball minnesota chuck yankee” and I was all, “Can you believe that guy? He tried to hint to us that he was a former major league baseball player!”
Of course, what they found was his mugshot (left): "It was Chuck Knoblauch. We were being hit on by Chuck Knoblauch on the G train." Hello, Blauch-head!
Deadspin points out the mugshot is from Knoblauch's run-in with the police after assaulting his common law wife. Also, it's questionable whether Knoblauch knew where he was going, because he said he was going to 171st Street .
