Dan Halloran announced today that he will not be seeking reelection, which comes as sad news to those of us who so enjoy following his antics. Halloran has made the City Council not only fun and exciting, but educational, taking us on an odyssey peppered with lessons on Theodism, snow removal, seducing young women in the workplace and, most importantly, that you can't do anything without the fucking money.
"Regrettably, I must now focus my attention on clearing my name and restoring my reputation, while I continue to discharge my sworn duties as a member of the New York City Council," Halloran said in a statement. "After much thought, I have concluded that it is impossible for me to properly do these things and take on the enormous demands of a political campaign, so I will not pursue another term in the council."
The good news is that one Rudy Giuliani (the second-cousin of the one you're thinking of) may run to take his place, which could conceivably provide a laugh or two. But will the new Halloran personally chase down misbehaving traffic cops, ensuring that justice is served with his own beefy hands? Will he swear at an auto body shop owner for failing to deal with noise complaints? Will he make uncomfortable 9/11 comparisons via email thread?
In trying times like these, we find comfort in the words of Dan Halloran himself: "That's politics, that's politics..."
