To deflect criticism from the massive bonuses it will soon pay out to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program forcing top earners to give a percentage of their salaries to charity, the Times reports.
This follows several previous attempts to quell the wrath of the poors American people: remember when they served Thanksgiving dinner to the needy, saved kittens, canceled their Christmas Party, and announced senior execs would get stock instead of cash? No? Perhaps that's because you're too busy looking for a job and trying to find a place to live now that you've lost your house to foreclosure.
The new plan: develop a mandatory charity initiative that will deduct a part of workers' salaries. The policy would be similar to a program at the defunct investment bank Bear Stearns, which required more than 1,000 high-ups to give four percent of their pay to charities and checked tax returns to make sure the workers followed through. Of course, that policy did so much to improve the public's perception of the failed bank.
So what do you think: will you hate Goldman Sachs less if they give 4% of their salaries to charity? They're listening!
