After all available stalling techniques failed, the defense rested in the rape trial of NYPD officer Kenneth Moreno...but as expected, they went out with a bang. Moreno's attorney (who reminds us of another lawyer we know) Joseph Tacopina, took pains to tell the jury that his client is Al Bundy: dumb and lovable, but not a rapist. "Ken is not a very sophisticated guy," Tacopina said, "He's maybe a bit of a simpleton—you heard him testify. But didn't he come away as honest, and a nice human being?" Yeah! A gentleman doesn't "kiss and tell." And he loves hair metal! CASE DISMISSED.
The Daily News reports that Tacopina hammered away at the prosecution's lack of DNA evidence, calling it a "massive, massive problem for them. There is absolutely no semen, no semen whatsoever." (Hmm why would that be?) And what about the video evidence? "What a moron he'd have to be…Why would he put himself at the scene?" Exactly. It would take someone as dumb as Moreno, but not Moreno himself! But—the phony 911 calls? "Imbecillic and stupid…he was trying to help her sober up." Ah, sort of like how we call 911 when there are no more chicken nuggets at McDonald's. Perfectly understandable.
Dismissing marks on the victims' cervix as "meaningless redness," the attorney then compared the prosecution's strategy to "trying to fit a square peg into a round hole." Get it? Because it's a RAPE trial! Moreno's partner, Andy Capp Franklin Mata, who claims to have been on the couch for the duration of the disputed events, will rest his case on Monday, before the prosecution will have the final word.
Update (9/9/11): Gothamist has published a long-form feature about the Rape Cop case, written by one of the jurors. It takes you behind the scenes during their deliberations, and explains how they came to their controversial verdict. Buy it today as a PDF or on Kindle.
