Late last month, a bloodthirsty nine-year-old thug encouraged his classmates to violently assault a student at an Upper East Side school, by taping a sign that said "Kick Me" to the child's back. The unidentified tormentor got off easy with just a two day suspension, but now his mother is complaining to the NY Post that her little angel was punished too severely. But let's face it: today it's a Kick Me sign, tomorrow it's atomic wedgies, and by Junior High he's running a cock fighting ring behind the bike racks. And besides, the Education Department's strict anti-bullying rules leave administrators no choice but to make an example of the miscreant.
Infraction A37 of the NYC school Discipline Code strictly prohibits "engaging in intimidating and bullying behavior, including cyber-bullying — threatening, stalking or seeking to coerce or compel a student or staff member to do something..." So if you can't do the time, don't do the crime, punk. Of course, some egghead at NYU thinks educators should just give kids like this a glass of chocolate milk and some kickboxing lessons. "We have to be very careful about zero tolerance and how it gets implemented," Richard Gallagher, the director of the Parenting Institute at NYU's Child Studies Center, tells the Post. "Teasing behaviors are pretty typical. But the boundary between teasing and bullying is different."
And while the boy's mother insists her son was just "playing around," Kick Me signs are the #1 cause of debilitating coccyx fractures in America, according to a statistic we just made up. One of the instigator's classmates tells the Post the boy "either teases you or he tells you he's going to start hitting you, but never does." How nice of him.
Clearly, the young ruffian has the entire 2nd grade living in fear. And uncited studies show Kick Me signage to be a gateway into other forms of humiliating abuse, such as putting pennies in a classmate's sandwich, or tucking toilet paper into the back waistband of someone's pants. (Sources tell us that's "very tricky but an enormous success if done properly.") Kids these days. Whatever happened to "Congratulate Me on Finishing My Homework" signs? [Via Pat's Papers]
